Unemployment is a Reality for Many Foreign Spouses
Unemployment or low-paying, difficult employment is a reality for lots of foreigners in this country and all countries. BUT many people manage to do what it takes to earn a good living. For us, it was a long road. For some of our foreign friends, it was much, much shorter!
- My husband had excellent credentials when he came to this country–job experience at well-known companies abroad, master’s degree, and so on.
- STILL, it took 5 YEARS for him to get a full-time job with benefits (but he had contracts and part-time jobs during that delay).
- The good news is that he’s doubled his salary in 2 years–so in this way, he has certainly made up for lost time. He’s earning more than any of my friends or relatives our age.
- A big part of the problem was his English. It STILL isn’t anything to write home about (but it’s okay).
- Another huge part of the problem was his resistance to change. He didn’t want to accept that he’d have to do things the American way–like wear a suit to an interview, answer dumb interview questions a certain way, and son on.
Rejection after rejection, and it didn’t sink in! He kept thinking if he bettered his skills, he’d get a job–this was partially true. He did better his skills, and it was eventually noticed. But by that time, he had also learned to dress for interviews and learned a lot of English.
Some Spouses Go With the Flow
Hopefully your spouse will be a little more open to change than mine was. Most Americans know the basics to finding a job–speak English well, wear a suit to an interview, ask questions, be prepared with answers, and so on. My husband REFUSED to do any of it. He insisted on wearing casual clothes, felt certain that his English made no difference (though he knew almost NONE), and almost said nothing during his interviews–well, how could he? He didn’t know English:)
We have a lot of foreign friends who found good jobs MUCH more quickly than my husband and who learned English a lot more quickly. They got jobs and never really had a terrible time of unemployment or anything like that. I am still not sure why my husband refused to change and listen to everyone around him for so long. It wasn’t like people were telling him to forget his native language–goodness, just wear a freaking tie! But eventually he figured it all out. Thank goodness. I hope your spouse does too. But remember it is a very scary process for some of them. Even for some Americans.
Light at the End of the Tunnel
After four years, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. How we made it that long without my husband having a job and still managed to pay our bills on my measly dinky little salary, I will never know. But I’m glad I did because for the past four years, life has been really grand!! We are so happy now, and staying with my husband through that time of resistance and unemployment–totally worth it.